Housecat Confidential

Me on Monday

2012-02-27T20:02:00.001-08:00

Hi friends! I just wanted to let you all know how I am doing.

I'm doing really well. I'm keeping my parents guessing as to what food I will eat day to day. I act like I totally love a can, and then as soon as they race out to buy more of it I turn up my nose to it. Honestly, I slay myself.

Mom started her new job today, so I have to deal with a complete pudding-head. You know when a human begins anything new they are practically useless in almost every other regard. Luckily her petting arm is still working right.

Oh yeah, this is pretty funny too - I LOVE to nap right between Mom's knees. It's just out of reach of those prying mitts but I still get to enjoy her thermo powers.

Yep, despite the general slow-down, I have things pretty well in paw here.

Out Of Darness - Repost

2012-02-25T20:02:00.000-08:00

Fade In

Exterior dusk on the covered porch of a suburban home. Our heroine Fin is enjoying the sunset from one of the large flagstones that surround the porch. Mom is seated on the patio chair with a camera in her hand, as she calls out to Fin.

"Fin! Fiiiiinnnnyyy! Look this way, the light is perfect."

Fin rolls on her side to hide her face from the prying eyes of the Pawparazzi. We hear the sounds of nature as Fin tunes out all the distractions. Mom hears a phone ringing inside the house, as sweet Fin lounges peacefully.

"Come on Fin, let's go. I gotta get the phone. (No response from Fin) Fin! Whatever... come in when you're done."

On a split screen we see Mom chat on the phone, and sweet Fin enjoy the last moments of sunlight. Mom, distracted by the call and assuming Fin has come into the house, shuts the door. In the gathering dark, a cold breeze ruffles Fin's fur. She scoots to the door only to see it's been shut.

Fin (in an escalating tone): Mew! Meow! Meeee-ooooow!!

Mom is oblivious, even after she ends the call, and hears nothing. Dad arrives home and further distracts her. Fin runs from window to window as she meows mightily, but to no avail. Fin huddles in a ball with only her floof to keep her warm.

Close up to show the twinkle in the brave grannycat's eye. She carefully makes her way across the rocky terrain on the side of the house. A cold wind whips around Fin, as she lowers her graceful head and carries on. She hesitates at the front yard, as we see the huge distance she still has to cross. The door is foreboding, and there's no guarantee she'll be successful, if she's even able to reach it. She hesitates, and suddenly we hear a dog barking close by.She must carry on.

Fin moves swiftly across the desert tundra. She reaches the front door, and stands up on her back paws as she begins to paw the door with her front paws.

"MEOW! MEOW!"

Cut to the inside as her family watches TV. Mom tilts her head, and lowers the sound.

"Do you hear something? Sounds like Fin..."

Cut back to Fin as she redoubles her efforts. She's so focused that she doesn't see the Evil Pomeranian walking along the sidewalk... but the Evil Pomeranian sees Fin. It heads up the yard towards our heroine. The Evil Pomeranian begins to growl softly and sweet Fin is frozen in her tracks. Fin's tail puffs as she whips around to face the danger. Just when it looks like all is lost, Mom throws open the door and scoops Fin into her arms.

"Poor Finny!! Will you forgive me? You're so smart and so brave to come to the front!!"

Fin is rewarded with snuggles as she turns to look out into the dark. She shivers at what could have happened.

Somewhere in the dark the Evil Pomerarnian growls.

Fade Out

After the credits roll

2012-02-22T17:55:00.000-08:00

Fade In

Interior Bedroom mid-morning.

In the distance we hear the shower, and then the low drone of the Evil Alien Eye (EAE).

Mom and Fin enter from the hall. They are unaware of the danger that still lurks on the dresser.

EAE (evil-like and quiet... hoping to lull Mom back into its evil spell): Bbbbbbuuuuzzzz

Mom (confused): What? I thought I turned this thing off? Maybe your Dad turned it back on... maybe it's defective?

Mom reaches out and chokes it by the neck again. Slowly the light from its horrible orange eye fades. Mom grabs its tail which has attached itself to a hole in the wall. She tugs it hard, but the EAE isn't going down easy. Our heroine Fin sees that its tail has wrapped itself around Mom's cankle, trying to trip her up.

Fin (loudly in warning): MEW! Mom watch out! It's coming for you!

Mom (pulling its tail out of the wall): Take that!

Mom wraps its tail around its own neck. Fin races towards the box it came in, so Mom can see the evil box lurking on the floor. Mom grabs the EAE and carries it to the box. Mom wrestles the EAE, trying to force it back into its box lair.

Mom (angrily): I still have the receipt! [Mom shoves harder to little avail] You're going back to where you came from!

EAE (menicingly): SQUEAK!

EAE fights back by refusing to twist back into the box lair. Mom is ready to give up, when she sees the brave Fin holding the box lair with her paws (despite the danger). They must save the family from the EAE. With renewed determination, Mom shoves and Fin pushes and finally the EAE is forced into the box.

Mom (victorious): Yes! Thank Cod the heater is fixed. This thing was starting to creep me out. Now we can snuggle again sweetie!

Mom picks up sweet Fin and walks towards the door with the brave kitty in her arms. Mom turns quickly, and gives the box a little kick... just in case.

Fade Out

Evil Alien Eye - The Screenplay

2012-02-20T19:24:00.001-08:00

Fade In: Interior Bedroom: Early morning light comes through the drapes as we see two humans in a tall bed. The male and female are snoring loudly. Under the sound of the snore we begin to hear the drone of the Evil Alien Eye.

Evil Alien Eye (evil-like): Buuuuuuzzzzz

The Evil Alien Eye (EAE) shifts it's eye from left to right and back again as it searches for our heroine Fin. Fin sits nervously at the mouth of the bedroom door (just out of sight of the EAE). She looks at the light coming from the window and notices it is getting brighter. She paces nervously. She scoots quietly farther into the room and checks to make sure she is still not in EAE's vision.

Fin (timidly): Meow... [there is no response from the humans and she checks to make sure the EAE is not able to see her] MEOW!

Still no response from her human parents. We see our heroine crouch low to the ground and scuttle quickly by the EAE on it's dresser perch. She is still safe from it's evil glare.

EAE (louder as it senses the presence of our heroine): BBBBUUUUUUZZZZZ!

Fin: MEOW! MEEEE-OOOOOWWWWWW! [still the humans sleep on]

Fin sees the light is even brighter and rightfully senses it won't be long before the Evil Noisy Box on the bed stand will come to life and attack her sleeping Mother. She must make her move now. She moves quickly to the foot of the bed and leaps up onto the bed. She races down the side of her Mother, using her as a shield.

Fin (yelling and pushing her sweet paw on Mom's face): MEW, MEW!!

Mom (sitting up quickly): Huh? What? Finny? [Mom scoops Finny up in her arms, and turns towards the EAE. Fin begins to flail] See sweetie you don't need to be scared, it's just a heater. See how warm it is?

Fin breaks free of the hold and races back to the safety of the hall. Mom hits the Evil Noisy Box into submission, at least that danger has been adverted. She watches in horror as Mom gets up and walks closer to the EAE.

Fin: MEEEEWW! Run Mom! Run!

Mom grabs the EAE by it's throat and chokes it until it's eye stops glowing. Mom and Fin walk into the kitchen for a celebratory meal, leaving Dad and EAE alone. The light begins to glow again...

EAE (quietly yet with menace): Buzzzz

Fade Out

The Ball Menace

2012-02-18T17:41:00.000-08:00

Fade In

FIN is seen in profile, lying in the dimly lit living room. Her head is resting on her front paws. She stares intently, and warily, at an object just out of camera view. Camera pulls out to reveal THE BALL (a ball toy cage made of green plastic which holds a shiny, menacing bell at it's dark and evil heart). It sits directly in front of our heroine.

FIN rolls onto her back as she pretends to ignore it. After a few moments FIN twists her head to look at THE BALL as it mocks her with it's silent taunts. FIN flips suddenly to face THE BALL, and it doesn't back down. FIN reaches out gracefully with her paw and almost touches it, but suddenly she leaps up and saunters towards the mouth of the hallway.

FIN thoughtfully listens for the sounds of her sleeping parents (Cue sound effect of very loud snoring). She is pleased her family is safe. She looks at THE BALL with disinterest, but as she turns her head back to the camera we see the glint of mayhem in her eyes. FIN saunters casually past THE BALL and tucks quickly behind a cabinet.

Cut to THE BALL in the foreground and FIN in the background. FIN settles into a crouch and wiggles her hind quarters as she prepares for a vicious attack. FIN pounces in slow mo. THE BALL is helpless as it's caught in her ferocious bite (cue sound effect of the screaming tinkle of its jingle bell).

FIN stops mid-kill as she turns towards her sleeping parents (Cue sound effect of their snoring disrupted). FIN drops THE BALL and covers it with her paws to silence it's evil screaming. FIN wiggles her upper body to disorient it and whaps it hardly. THE BALL rolls swiftly towards the hall and the sleeping parents beyond.

THE BALL (loudly and menacingly): Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, tinkle

FIN races after THE BALL as it rolls towards her family. FIN throws herself on it, just as it makes a final break for the bedroom. FIN whaps THE BALL and it rolls in terror back to its living room lair. FIN curls up in the hallway corner, still vigilant and wary of another attack. Her parents snore loudly, blissfully unaware of the danger they've been rescued from.

Fade Out

The Aria - A Screenplay

2012-02-15T19:07:00.000-08:00

In recognition of awards season please enjoy a series of our screenplays.

Fade in

Our heroine, FIN, is seen sleeping at the foot of the big bed. She is sandwiched between two large shapes wrapped in blankets. FIN stretches sweetly as she wakes up from her nap. FIN moves to MOM's head and gently taps Mom on the face with her paw.

FIN (sweetly): May I have your tickets please?

Mom (groggy and grumpy): What?!? You can forget it. I am not getting up to feed you - and don't even start with that mewing business!!

FIN (under breath, but amiably): Okay for you the performance will be free tonight.

FIN leaps down from the bed in slow mo, and moves to the doorway to the hallway. FIN is illuminated by the nightlights. The screen morphs with wavy lines to indicate a dream sequence is beginning. The scene is transformed as the lovely FIN is shown on a stage with a spot light on her.

FIN (tuning her vocal instrument): Mew, mew, mew, mew, meeew.

MOM (crabbily): Oh here we go again!

FIN is encouraged by the shout of glee from the audience. A white cape is thrown from the audience which lands on FIN's shoulders. FIN shrugs as the cape sweeps over her shoulders dramatically.

FIN sings for three minutes. The aria includes many variations on meow including Mew, Merr and the very popular Ra-ow. FIN completes her operatic aria and the crowd begins to throw roses at her feet. FIN clears her throat and begins her encore.

Cut to a pillow camera shot, as a small decorative pillow sails through the air towards our plucky heroine FIN. We see FIN smartly avoid the pillow by stepping to the side.

The dream sequence ends as we see darling FIN standing in the hallway surrounded by socks, a pillow, and a small towel on her shoulders. FIN lays down under the towel as her eyes sparkle (with enhanced computer graphics). FIN rests her darling head on the pillow for a nap.

Fade Out

Copy Cat

2012-02-12T17:03:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed how sometimes your humans can grow obsessed with you, and everything you are doing? The other day I was hanging out in the bedroom (semi-napping) when Mom cruises past the door, clearly looking for something. She spotted me and then she kept right on walking, like she totally wasn't looking for me. I thought it was a fluke or she would send the Pawparrazzi in.

A few hours later I was lounging in the living room (surveying my turf) when I saw her wandering around the house, clearly looking for me again! I could tell she was getting a bit agitated as she passed by all my regular spots with no luck. She started calling me with her dead-on imitation of me (really it's freakishly dead-on) which I ignored, of course (I'm not a dog). Finally, on the way to the kitchen, she spotted me and again acted like I was not her prey.

I don't know what she's thinking - these are my moves. I use these on her all the time. I have every reason to keep an eye on my lap and reliable can opener, but what reason does she have to follow me around? I am not the one who leaves the house.

That Racket

2012-02-08T19:46:00.000-08:00

I love to paw furiously on things like mirrors, glass fireplace screens , cabinets and doors. Oh it's such a delight to stand on your back paws (or when I really get into it, I sit down - so I can concentrate) and let those paws fly with purpose.

Initially, when I would paw at the bathroom mirror, my parents thought it was because I was trying to attack the “other” cat I saw in the reflection. Ridiculous, of course I know it’s my own reflection. I’m not pawing to attack or pet myself as they think; I’m making my cat music. Of course I recognize myself, I’m adorable. Who else would it be?

My parents have titled my cat music “That Racket.” I think it's a catchy title. They’ll say things like, “Is that you making That Racket?” or “Quit making That Racket in there, little cat!” I think they really like my song because sometimes they clap their hands loudly and try to sing along with their own lyrics like “Hey, knock off That Racket,” or “I’m coming over there if you don’t knock off That Racket, little cat.” I really like that they come up with their own lyrics, and try to clap along, although they don’t seem to be on-key or to be very good with the rhythm, but I love them for trying.

I’ll admit that I sometimes get so involved playing “That Racket” against a door that I will shut it with my pawing, effectively locking myself in a room for hours on end. I realize I should probably pay attention to the direction that the door swings, before I start pawing in earnest, but really, who thinks of things like that when the rhythm takes them?

Meg - My girl still likes to lay down tracks, anycat wanna join a band?

Hey There!

2012-02-06T19:43:00.000-08:00

Hey Friends, it's me Finny De Floof! I wanted to give you a little update on how I'm feeling. The good news is that most days I feel pretty good. I have my bad days too but I'm happy to report that the good far outweighs the bad. I haven't been even close to as ill I was before Christmas in a long while.

I'm enjoying my retirement. I still like to get up early which means Mom gets up early too. I like to run a tight ship still. I am enjoying lots of lap time.

If you've read Mom's blog (Hart Stories by Meg S Hart) recently you already know that she has a new job she is going to be starting at the end of the month. She will be working from home and I am pretty excited about it. She's working from home one day week now and I am a big fan. I will be able to keep my eyes on her full time from the comfort of me little hammock.

She's set up the old ~~crap~~ craft room as her office. It gets the best patch of morning sun, and I take full advantage of it. Her work isn't nearly as exciting as visiting blogs from what I can tell, but she claims it's what she likes doing so I'm pleased.

It's a little hard to get a solid nap in with all the squealing about how darling I am on the desk but I manage.

Mom is still trying to decide what to do with the blog, but in the meantime there are still lots of favorite posts to share. I hope you're enjoying them friends. You all take care of yourselves and I'll continue to keep my eyes on you too.

Training Day Repost

2012-02-04T19:07:00.000-08:00

Jim: Well Bob, we're back, after an extended hiatus after Cat-A-Lympics.

Bob: I was relaxing on the beach... Do you know why we're here Jim?

Jim: Seems our hostess Fin of Finland has called us out to take a look at some new moves she's working on.

Bob: Wow Jim, how exciting! Do you know what she's been working on Jim?

Jim: No Bob she's kept it tightly under wraps. Grannycats keep these things tight to the fur you know. It's the mark of a true professional. Oh Bob, we're being asked to keep it down. Fin looks serious.

Bob: I don't understand Jim, we've seen these moves before. Beside the fountain, looking in and looking out from inside it, all classics. Can there really be something new here Jim?

Jim: Oh. Well Bob this seems new. Excellent form using the tail for balance and stability. HOLY COD Bob look at that!

Bob: She is going for a balance beam routine Jim! Look at that form! Surely she can't maintain that kind of effort for long...

Jim: Mother Fluff Bob! She appears to be going for a "Ring-Around-The-Rosie" maneuver! And look Bob there's scummy water in the bowl! One misstep and our granny could be in the pool!

Bob: She's halfway around the base Jim! She looks like she can take it ALL THE WAY! OH NO!!!

Jim: What an upset Bob. It appears she had a mid-point dismount. She looks shaken Bob. It's a good thing it's just training. Best of luck Finny, we know you will pull it off by the next games.

Napping Event

2012-01-30T19:16:00.000-08:00

Bob: Looks like Fin is trying to medal in Competitive Napping at the Nation of Huffle Mawson, Jim!

Jim: Hey Bob, let's keep it down, she's napping for gold.

Bob::whispers:: Sorry Jim. Look at this form. A side sprawl, and with a paw hide.

Jim: Look at the back paw toe digging in for napping traction! She's bringing it home! Wait! She's pulling a full belly exposure move! What a pro!

Bob: I thought you said to keep it down Jim.

Jim: Oh sorry. I got a little excited. Our Finny deserves the rest. She has been hard at work and very busy hiding from the Pawparrazzi between events.

Bob: So Jim, are we ready to sign off here at the H.C?

Jim: Yes Bob this is the last even in the series. I understand we've been picked up for guest appearances though. I'm pretty excited about it Bob!

Finny: Hey can you keep it down? I hope all my friends have enjoyed this special Olympic Edition. I have been feeling really great lately and my parents couldn't be happier. I think I may even feel up to a new post this week.

Double Events

2012-01-29T17:37:00.000-08:00

Bob: Well Jim it's been quite a week so far, but I understand our hostess has been "going nocturnal" to enter our first event of the day.

Jim: That's right Bob, Finny has pulled out all the stops to win in Mr Tuck's Late Night Human Wake Up Event. Fin's expertise in this event is really going to pay off.

Bob: Jim, let's get right to the video!

Jim: Um, Bob, we don't have any video... seems our host nation of Fin-Land didn't shell out for the Night Vision. We weren't "allowed in the room" for the live play by play, as it might have altered the outcome. Only the cat can be the waker-upper in order to medal in this classic event.

Bob: We're told by "The Mom" that the competitor began the event at 12:30am! Now that's taking it to the Mat-tress Jim!

Jim: The Mom fought back with a classic Ignoring You Fake Out, but Fin is a champion and she began an aria of meows that no human could ignore. The Mom struck back with a "Shut it Little Cat!" yell, but again Fin struck back.

Bob: I understand she brought out the big guns, and knocked over a glass of water on the nightstand right into the pillow!

Jim: That's right Bob, and it was OVER! Our champion was rewarded with a late night snack. Speaking of snacks let's get right into our second event, Competitive Eating.

Bob: She goes right in for the win! Look at that determination! That Chick-Hen doesn't stand a chance! She may need to change position to get those last bites.... NO!! She does it!!

Jim: Wait Bob! There seems there's a doping scandal! One of the other teams has photo evidence of performance enhancing additives!! What an upset!!

Bob: Oh My COD! I'm shocked! But wait, Fin looks truly shocked too!

Finny: I had no idea they were adding anything to my food! Mom says it's a phosphate binder so my kidney's stay well! What a shock! I never tasted anything!

Jim: Well the judges have decided to allow this Bob, citing health reasons. So there will be no disqualifications for the grannycat!

Ice Hockey

2012-01-25T19:29:00.000-08:00

Bob: Well Jim what's in the action line-up today in Fin-Land?

Jim: We have an Ice Hockey event with none other than our Hostess Fin. She has agreed to come out of retirement for this event, believing that hockey is a young cat event. Joining her on the ice is Cory of Cory Cat the young cat in question!

Bob: It's true Jim, Cory has youth and speed on her side, and she trains in the off-season with asparagus. While Fin has years of experience and those snowshoe paws with toe fur! It promises to be quite a match, let's get right to the action Bob!

Bob: Look at that steely determination on the face of Finny. She's ready to play! But here's the competitor. She looks a little timid Jim, as she looks at the cube... cuteness is only going to go so far here.

Jim: Wait a minute Bob! It looks to me like that may be domestic ice...

Bob: Cory's coaches are inspecting the ice, and it looks like they are clearing their player to go forward... but Jim look at Fin...

Jim: Our hostess seems very displeased with this turn of events. She likes the foreign ice from the market. Oh My COD Bob, it looks like she is refusing to play! She is laying down and refusing to participate!

Fin: What kind of sham is this?! Domestic Ice! I'm not a kitten! I came out of retirement for this! I'm Outta here!

Jim: This is a complete debacle Bob! Wait, our guest competitor is still ready to play! What a scandal!

Cory: I just really wanted to show my skills. I'm so disappointed. I usually play hockey with vegetables or fruit from the garden, maybe Fin will come back out of retirement for Cherry Hockey?

An Upset at Cat-A-Lympics

2012-01-24T19:15:00.000-08:00

Jim: Well Bob it's been an exciting week so far and it's only Wednesday! I wanted to mention the upset that happened here at the Host Nation of Fin-Land yesterday. Seems the "No Rules" rule of Cat-A-Lympics was breached by the judges, causing a mistaken disqualification of Finny in the Balance Beam.

Bob: I understand that our hostess has been award her medal. Let's listen in to her acceptance speech Jim.

Finny: Well a cat, especially a grannycat, should have any route she chooses to get on and off the apparatus. I totally stuck the landing, and the style points were off the charts... I had a dangling back paw for balance and a three paw landing. Plus there are no rules so anything should be allowed. I'm glad this wrong has been righted. We're cats, we rarely follow rules... that's how we stroll.

Bob: Now that's a class act! So Jim, I heard rumors that cats can add new events to the line-up at anytime, but Jim, that can't be right can it?

Jim: Yes Bob. As I've said before, there are no rules. Events are being created and posted at a breakneck pace. Cats can feel free to take the commemorative award shown on Monday's post for participation.

Bob: Wait Jim! I'm hearing from the booth that we have breaking new footage coming in from the field.

What are we looking at here Jim? I think I'm confused...

Jim: Bob, it seems our Hostess has a different take on the Boxing competition.That's a senior kitizen for you, they know how to work the competition to advantage. It's a tight fit too, but she has done it! Tomorrow she will be competing in an Ice Hockey match. It promises to be quite a competition! Play safe out there competitors!

Balance Beam

2012-01-23T17:48:00.000-08:00

Jim: Well it's the first day of competition here at Fin-Land, and events don't get more exciting than the balance beam Bob.

Bob: That's right Jim. This event is going to take skill and agility. Let's take a look closer look at the course.

Jim: Let me walk our viewer's through the action we've come to expect here at the Balance Beam. The Cathlete is going to jump on the edge of the tub from the far right, it's critical she sticks the landing. Then she'll need to walk across the narrow ledge to the counter on the left, at that point there will be a quick but difficult jump from the narrow ledge to the counter. The prize will be a cool sip of water right from the tap.

Bob: What's that on the floor Jim? Is that some kind of... water feature?

Jim: Yes Bob, it's a bowl filled with water. It makes this course extremely challenging! Oh look Bob, here comes our competitor... ::a hush falls over the audience as the cathlete surveys the field::

Jim: Whispering:: Look at that tail switch Bob, she is focused! Looks like she's inspecting the apparatus up close and personal, getting a feel for the conditions. This is a slick course...

Bob: She seems very focused on the left side of the course. She.... Oh My COD!

Jim: What an upset Bob!! She caught the Pawparrazzi totally off guard! She completely bypasses the beam and goes straight for the left corner!

Bob: Is it over Jim?! Will this be a disqualification?

Jim: We'll have to wait for the call Bob. It's such a shame, because if you look at the style points, look at the dangling paw, she could be in the running for gold! She seems to be awaiting her award on the podium.

Bob: I hear from the judges that she has been disqualified for that maneuver! What an upset!

Jim: Looks like our cathlete is drowning her sorrows in a cool drink Bob. Maybe she'll do better in tomorrow's competition.

Cat-A-Lympics (Re)Opening Day

2012-01-22T10:07:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends. As promised Cat-A-Lympics. This was a series Fin and I did during the last Olympics and honestly I had so much fun and I think my friends did too. We had lots of friends who played and created their own events. I think Huffle Mawson's Mom still has the scars from the napping event, who knew that would be so popular?

Who are Jim and Bob? The imaginary commentators in my head of course. Without further ado...

Jim: Well Bob it's finally arrived, Cat-A-Lympics. Can't you smell the excitement in the air Bob?

Bob: Oh, I, uh, thought that was tuna Jim. Either way the excitement has been building here at the Host Nation of Fin-Land for weeks now.We have some exciting events planned here at the H.C. Ice Hockey, Balance Beam, Eating, and course Fin will be taking part in Napping events, and maybe even showing off some Bunny-Kicking in a exhibition sport.

Jim: Before we discuss the events Bob, I think we need to clear up any questions about the games. First the name Cat-A-Lympics is a bit of a misnomer, as any species can play.

Bob: What Jim? Any species? Dogs and Cats competing together? It's a world gone mad.

Jim: Yes Bob, it's a unique feature of these games, but you know cats are fierce competitors and they welcome all comers. Another difference in these games is that any participant can take away one of these medals designed by none other than Glogirly.

Bob: That's some award Jim! But that's not all, I understand that some cats are organizing their own events and competitors can even win other awards, is that right?

Jim: That's right. Hopeful competitors should contact these cats or check out their blogs if they want to participate in these exciting events.

Bob: I've heard that competitors can even make up their own events on the fly and just link the event here as they think of things, but surely that's a rumor Jim!

Jim: No Bob, that's totally true. We are hoping the staff of our host nation has figured out how to Mr Linky and that it continues to show up each day... or they can just come back to this post each day they compete. In fact they don't even have to link here... there are no rules! That's right! No Rules!

Bob: You mean they can even use old posts and just slap a Cat-A-Lympic spin on the thing and that counts?

Jim: Yes Bob! Like I said no rules! Just a celebration of the Cathlete. Let the games begin Bob!

Floofy Friday

2012-01-19T20:06:00.000-08:00

Behold the floof, just snapped this morning.

Hard to see where the kitty begins and ends isn't it.

So it's been 30 days since we announced Fin's retirement and as you can see we're both still here and if you're reading this then I guess you're still here too. I'm not sure what all that means just yet in the long run, but in the short run I think I will replay more of my favorites (can anyone say Acatemy Awards and Cat-O-Lympics?).

You need a little more floof first though right? Let's get the weekend started!

No, even with all that belly staring me right in the face I was not invited in for a snorgle or a rub. Have a great weekend friends!

Sassy Cat Update

2012-01-17T17:44:00.001-08:00

The other morning I had put down breakfast for my sweet kitty and I had settled into my chair when I received a complaint. Fin jumped onto my lap and walked straight up to my face to discuss the current status of her food dish.

Seems the ratio of healthy food to gravy-laden food was off in her opinion. She had already eaten all the gravy food while leaving the healthy chunks behind like the tips of small icebergs. I was not going to budge on her needing to eat some of the healthy food, and assured her of just such a fact.

She headed off to the kitchen and I thought the matter was settled. I was mildly surprised to have settled it so quickly, but I assumed she would eat the left-overs. I was wrong. I suddenly heard a rather loud plop. I looked over and my girl had gotten onto the dining table and then jumped over to the kitchen counter. Pretty impressive for a grannycat I had to say.

She proceeded to head right over to the cat food can I had yet to put away and she began licking right out of the tiny can. I was so impressed (and truth be told tickled) that I let her have at it. Eventually I had to clean up the kitchen floor after she knocked the can over, but it was worth it to see my old girl with that much sass and determination to eat something. Never underestimate the power of gravy.

Pre-enactment from about a year ago.

Floofy Flashback Friday

2012-01-12T19:39:00.000-08:00

Hi friends! Luckily I remembered it was Friday - well almost Friday. I have a little confession, it's really still Thursday here. I like to bend the space-time continuum.

I loved this photo shoot with my girl. She was eyeing the treat I held out of range. Sure it was the dining table but the lighting was so good. Sometimes you have to allow naughtiness to get the shot. She is doing well, lots of lovin and unlimited treats when she wants them.

I've had a weird week, I started out taking a little tumble, but I am fine now, and so grateful that I didn't really hurt myself. Today I had to take my car into the shop because the stability tracking is broken. Funny that in the same week both me and my car lost our footing.

Normally I love Friday the 13th but this week I am just hoping to make it through to Saturday.

If you want to read about some of the more infamous, and funny, falls I've taken you can read about it on my blog here or for Kindlers you can search for Hart Stories by Meg S Hart (or just search Meg S Hart).

You Might Be...

2012-01-10T14:15:00.000-08:00

I think cats, and humans, have many aspects to their personalities. Back when we first started blogging I posted this little game and asked our new friends to play a game and finish this sentence “You might be an alley cat if…”

Thinking of it as the feline equivalent of a “You might be a redneck if…” joke. No offense to our alley cat friends of course, as Fin's own feline mother was an alley cat too. Here is an example of ours:

“You might be an alley cat if you think of the whole kitchen floor as your food dish.” or "You might be an alley cat if you only know of Pedigree as a dog food."

I thought about a way to poke fun at our purebred counterparts too. I thought it might be fun to think of that side of our kitties as the feline equivalent of a blond joke, or to indicate how spoiled your kitties might be. Again no offense to our purebred friends, as I think Fin is descended from feline royalty, and honestly who hasn't had a purebred moment. Here is my example:

“How many purebreds does it take to find a patch of sun?”

Answer: “None, they just require their "people" to buy them a sun lamp.”

Go on, give it a try and leave your versions in the comments section

Flashback Floof

2012-01-06T19:55:00.000-08:00

Whew, you thought I forgot didn't you? Just made it in under the wire.

Ah, better already isn't it?

You can see how my floofy girl has trimmed down in these picstaken about three years apart. She is usually a big floof pile by this time of year, but I think she's conserving her energy and her floof remains in more of a late Fall state of mind. She is still doing really well with lots of lovin and snuggles on demand - as it should be.

Weekend you may now begin!

Best of Blog - Lap Rules

2012-01-03T18:55:00.000-08:00

These rules are all still very much in effect.

I thought this might be a good time to lay down some rules on lap etiquette that I'd like obeyed.

When I mewl at your feet, there's no need for you to ask "What do you want?" I want your lap of course. No I'm not going to jump right up there, I have things to take into consideration first. I only want to be scooped and placed on the lap if it's Dad.
Entering the lap is not as easy as you seem to think Mom, there are shifty parts and lumpy parts and I often have to negotiate space with your laptop. If I claw some tender parts in the process, well I'm sorry, no need to scream about it, you big drama queen.
When something startles me I will leap off, possibly taking small bits of your flesh with me, again I'm sorry.
Don't squeeze the kitty, even though you enjoy the small noises I make when you do.
I have to be in the mood for you to hold my front paws (never the back paws), don't assume I'm in that mood when you are.
The scratches and pets are great, but once I decide those are over, and I'm moving on to the business portion, I no longer want the distraction. If you persist I'll have to nibble you.
The business portion can include napping or bathing, and yes you do make a nice bath tub (all those soft angles that I can use to prop myself up on make bathing quite enjoyable).
When you're "In the mood for a cat" don't assume I'm "In the mood" to be said cat. All your pleading will not make your lap more appealing. In fact I'm a cat - if I came when I was called - I'd be a dog. So if I was on the fence about the snuggle, your begging has ruined it.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Finny De Floof

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T08:38:00.000-08:00

They say it's my birthday! It's Mom's Birthday too!

I'm happy to be here with you friends!

In past years I've shown you my baby pictures, cause I am a New Year's Baby, and I see no reason to break that tradition now. Think of it as an early present for you. Behold the kitteny goodness.

This one makes Mom's heart go all mushy!

Couldn't you just squeal yourself hoarse?

I'm still kickin it over here at the H.C. friends! My parents are spoiling me at rate not yet heard of, and I'm enjoying my retirement. I'm really tired these days and I've turned into a total lapper. I just love some lap time. I sometimes follow them around until one of them sits and then I take my rightful place. When I sleep on Mom's lap, I sleep between her knees - just outta reach of those hot mitts of hers. So funny.

Mom says having me here is the best present in the world, so Dad got off cheap I guess. I say having such kind and thoughtful friends, and comfy laps of humans you love is the best present. Hope you have a very Happy New Year friends with lots of love and happiness.

The Prize

2011-12-30T06:06:00.000-08:00

Meg here, hope you enjoy this post from my Meg S Hart human blog.

So this morning I was checking whatever one feels compelled to check on their laptop first thing in the morning, when I heard a loud crunching sound. It's a sound my cat-mom ears know well, crunching cellophane. Nothing pleases Fin more than to chomp on a hunk of the stuff. Of course I have to be the buzz-kill and stop her.

On a mission to make sure she doesn't swallow a huge swath, I begin my surveillance. I spot her quickly on the dining table (now I'll have to figure out how she got up there too) and she has her back to me.

"HEY! KNOCK THAT OFF!" I shout to the unresponsive Finny. Well perhaps not unresponsive because she turns towards me at that point, perhaps to show a more flagrant disregard for my order. I see an object in the darkness but still can't tell what she might be crunching away on.

"DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!" We both know that's probably a lie.Apparently she heard "jump off the table and take your prize with you" because that's what she did instead. I was finally able to see what she had claimed.

A fortune cookie still in it's little cellophane sack. It was resting comfortably in her jaws as she fled the scene of the crime. The site of it tickled me so much that I even let her crunch it for a time.

Her fortune? Don't stop dreaming, otherwise sleep will get boring. A great fortune for a sleepy kitty I say.

Guess what? Me and my girl will be celebrating our birthdays on Sunday. She will be turning 15 and I will be celebrating 15 too, sure there will be another 31 on top of that, but who's counting. I think I need to plan a party.

And the Moon

2011-12-28T05:58:00.000-08:00

Here's another favorite from the past, hope you enjoy it. By the way our floofster is still doing well. She needs the appetite enhancer but she is sassy and full with it.

As I reported yesterday the changing of the sunrise has thrown me off my efforts to wake Mom. Admittedly, I've been late a few times, and in an effort to over compensate, early a few times too. I've even been caught off guard and been awakened by the hated noisy box.

The other night I was sitting on the bathroom floor, waiting for the sun, when I noticed - the Moon. Sometime in the night, Mom had kicked off her covers, exposing a section of lily white tush that actually glowed in the moonlight. I was mesmerized.

Of course I've touched the butt before, but perhaps it was the coolness of the tiles, and my desire for a refill of my water, that lead me to my next thought - what if I touched the celestial body with my paw, my cold paw. No, better yet, my cold, damp paw.

I gripped the cool porcelain (I think a paw held in front of the AC vent would work well here too), and waited. When I was adequately chilled, I stuck my paw in the water bowl and headed off for - a Moon landing.

I made a stealthily approach, hoping she wouldn't turn or change the cover arrangement. I sat down, lifted my paw, and suddenly, I felt a bit guilty. I gave a warning meow, to give her an opportunity to awaken at my first request (okay, I whispered it, but I did do it). No response. I laid my cold damp paw upon the Moon. One small step for Fin, one giant leap for catkind.

Now kitties, here is where the danger comes - you need to leap back, you're going need to be at a safe distance. Prepare your most innocent face, you're going to need to deny any intentional wrong doing. You might want to cover your ears too, with the dry paw of course.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T09:16:00.000-08:00

Here is another post from my new human blog that you can find here or on Kindle by searching for Hart Stories or by my pen name Meg S Hart.

I don't know why this time of year gets me so nostalgic, but it does. Growing up Christmas was always a special time of year for me, and not just because of the presents either (although my former nickname of "Present Pig" would lead you to think differently). As a child we had a long break from school which allowed us to fly back east to Illinois from sunny California and spend the holiday at my Grandmother's house. My Grandmother was the Martha Stewart of her day.

She'd work so hard to make the holidays as special as she could. Everything from velvet ribbons on the polished apples to thoughtfully selected and beautifully wrapped gifts. One year she even had the groundskeeper tie red velvet ribbons on the flock of white pigeons they owned. Hm, that sounds kind of exotic doesn't it? Someday I'll tell you about the peacocks and then the pigeons won't seem exotic at all.Seriously, she had peacocks.

When my Grandmother passed I spent years boycotting Christmas. It made me too sad to see the world wrapped up in its Christmas finery when my Grandmother wasn't in the world to enjoy it. It was silly really. Who was I punishing?

I found Christmas again a couple of years ago, but now I am all in (not velvet-tied apples in - but who is?). I started to gather the glitziest, most sparkly ornaments I could find. Although my husband hates glitter because it "gets" everywhere, I even have sneaked some of them in too. I love ornaments that remind me of the way snow twinkles and frost both illuminates and obscures a window pane.

I love to sit in my quiet house and stare at my sparkly Christmas tree. If I can get my precious kitty on my lap and have a good book in my hand, well it's nothing short of perfection.

Life is like glitter, it's beautiful, it's messy and you never know where it's going to end up.

Happy Holidays to all our Friends!

Floofy Friday

2011-12-23T18:31:00.000-08:00

Hi kitties and friends! Mom, er, Meg here. I wanted to give you a little update on my floofy girl, and the news is good! She is eating and drinking again, with a bit of encouragement, and there has been some occasional bouts of full throttle sass. Lots of napping and snuggles to be had too.

It makes me so happy to be awakened from a dead sleep to give her a snack, seriously it does. We are spoiling her with anything she likes, and we are all loving every minute of it. So put your paws in the air and let's get some vintage floof up in here!

Wonder if Sandy Claws is in here?

Happiest of Holidays to all of you friends!

The First Post

2011-12-19T19:21:00.001-08:00

Here is the first post from my human blog. You can find it on Kindle by searching Hart Stories or by Meg S Hart.

Hello World!

It's me, Meg, ::whispers:: and I'm human. Maybe some of you saw that one coming. If you're new here you're likely to be confused by that revelation, so let me explain.

I'm starting my own blog after blogging for three plus years using my cat's voice. Why blog as a cat? It started as a way to find an audience for a book called Housecat Confidential that I wrote in her voice. I guess I should back up even more - why write a book as a cat?

Speaking in my cat's voice all began by trying to mimic my cat's many variations on meow. She is a true kitty linguistic, and it did seem like you could really understand her wants and needs if you could just crack the code.

Eventually my hubby and I began to interpret those vocalization into English. Once we had her talking, it didn't take long for us to begin to insert our humor into those interpretations.Why ask "Honey, can you feed the cat?" when there are so many more fun ways to ask when you ask it like the cat would?

I have to admit my girl Fin didn't initially seem to be the brightest star in the sky, until the day I realized her "playing dumb" was an effective way to get what she wanted. Finny De Floof - Master Mind was born.

Suddenly all the odd (but turns out perfectly normal) behavior of a cat took on new meaning to me. I began to try to see life through her eyes, and it was a life I liked looking at. It was filled with love (for us and a more forbidden variety with a toy mouse), hope (surely that can of tuna will be opened soon), work stresses (humans don't wake themselves) and many of the same frustrations we all face.

The world was a more interesting place from her point of view. I could learn to take life and myself less serious - why just have self-deprecating humor when you can have a cat do it for you.

Her world was much smaller, but somehow much richer too. I started to realize that she had everything she needed to be happy within our home, and when I opened my heart I realized I did too. I started a journey to find the same joy and wonder in life and within myself, and I stopped looking for outside things to make me happy.

In the end I found that I wasn't alone, turns out there were a lot of other kind people who also like to look at the world through the eyes of a cat. So what does the world look like through my human eyes? I guess we'll all figure that out if you stick around, and I sure hope you do.

My First Taste

2011-12-18T17:20:00.000-08:00

This post was when Fin first tasted gravy. I thought it would be so funny for the blog to get a photo op. The joke was on me though as she never went back to dry kibble again. My mornings of sleeping in late were OVER! Please enjoy!

Fancy Feast is in the house, and apparently it can be purchased right at the regular grocery store, who knew? Dad bought the place out I think with multiple cans and varieties (note to Mom - this is one reason Dad’s my favorite).

After much excited dancing by my dish (on my part naturally), Mom cracked open a can of Trout. I felt a little sorry for her because she looked like she might have a hairball of her own.

“Oh the humanity! I’m going to hurl, are you happy now?” She called out.

“Mew!” I replied hardily, meaning “Yep!”

Mom put down my trout as she tried to hold back the hairball with two hands. I started giving it a hardy inspection, but I have to admit I wasn’t too sure about it. I was gingerly sniffing, when I noticed Mom at the ready with the camera (she thought it would be nice to show me enjoying my first feast). Well as you can imagine, I don’t like to be rushed – and she knows the pawparazzi war isn’t over yet. I decided I needed a moment to regroup, so I made the universal gesture of “I’m not done here, I’ll be back for it later” by pawing the ground all around the plate in an effort to bury the feast.

“Oh no you don’t little cat, you’re eating that – and don’t wake me up in the middle of night with that on your cat breath either.” Mom called out as she ran from the kitchen to the freshness of the outdoor air.

After picking at it for a while, even I had to admit trout wasn’t for me and I abandoned the area, my head hung low in embarrassment. Mom (smugly) put it outside for Mittens to find. She also made Dad take out the trash like it held toxic waste, all over a little trout (What a drama queen!). We were all very upset.

We had found the stinky, but where was the goodness? The goodness my friends was finally found, two varieties (chicken and a mystery meat I still don’t recognize) and some cross words later, in a little can called Tuna and in one called Ocean Feast. I found them quite tasty and stinky, in a good way.

Although I hate to admit it - I think Mom might be right (another reason I prefer Dad) I am spoiled and I do prefer Dad’s flakey white tuna (it's even dolphin safe). I’m torn. If I eat the feast will I be denied the other? I can’t chance it - Eat up Mittens, I’m holding out for the good stuff.

Retirement Party

2011-12-17T11:09:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my retirement party friends! Mom and I are happy to report that I am getting a little better every day. I can tell you now what Mom couldn't last week, I was suddenly REALLY sick. It was a total shock to my parents.

I don't want to dwell on any sadness, and there is no way to tell without a lot of invasive tests, but the doctors think I may have a form of lymphoma, and that's not so good friends. I am really feeling a lot better now and the hope is that I still have lots of great and happy times in front of me. My Sass-O-Meter is back to Medium and I woke Mom up for breakfast on time as usual. I'm looking forward to kicking back and soaking up all the love, sun puddles, and porch time I can.

So I'm letting Mom have her own voice from now on. Of course I may have guest posts on Mom's blog (and of course she'll probably talk about me), and naturally as her muse, I will have my paw in all things she writes (sometimes literally). Who knows, someday when there's a "One who'll come after me" Casa De Housecat may have a new kitty with blogging chops at the helm. Looking at the world through feline eyes is addictive.

I've found the kindest and most amazing friends to read what I have to say. It's been the best, and most unexpected, experience to be able to meet all of you! So please join us in a celebration of a few of our favorite things.

Over the next month we're going to post some of our very favorite posts (or yours - just let us know) and new posts from Mom's new blog here at the HC. The new blog is listed in our profile and we will include links on this site.

Special note to our Kindle subscribers, the new blog is available now on the Amazon site and it's called Hart Stories (but search by Meg S Hart and save yourself some scrolling). You're subscription to this feed will end as soon as your monthly subscription runs out.

Now on to the party!! Please help yourself to the niptinis, meowgaritas, wine, and milk for the kittens. We have some treats and a giant e-cake. Please kick back and enjoy the only shot ever to appear on this blog of my special one... Behold Mousey!

Isn't he the most handsome mouse in the world?

No Dad, I am not amused.

See you around the blogosphere friends, much love to you.

Finny De Floof

Floofy Flashback

2011-12-15T19:37:00.000-08:00

Dang, I was darling as a kitten.

So friends, I'm still on the mend, and getting stronger. I have had lots of time to think and I've made a big decision. I think it's time for me to retire, kick up my paws and let Mom run the show from now on.

Mom has dreamed of having a little blog of her own for awhile now, someplace where she can shake off the fur and be human. Until recently I still had so much to say, and there's only so much time in a day, that I held my paw down and denied her request. Now I feel like the time is right to make the transition. Of course her life isn't nearly as exciting as mine, I'm a loved housecat - the best life a cat could want.

We hope you'll decide you like her voice too - oddly enough, it sounds a lot like mine. Go figure. We're going to try work it all out this weekend, and give you all the details very soon at my official retirement party. Hope you'll come and celebrate with us! Have a great weekend friends.

Update

2011-12-13T18:16:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone, we just wanted to give everyone a quick update on how I'm feeling. My Sass-O-Meter is definitely running lower than usual, but not so low that I can't take advantage of jumping up on the kitchen counter tops, or enjoying sun puddles on My Porch.

The Vet is pleased with my progress. My parents think she is the nicest Vet ever. Whatever. The medications are helping and I'm eating and drinking again which is all good. Your continued purrs are most welcome.

My parents are pretty busy catering to my every need, so Mom is on blog lock down for a bit longer. You never know when a grannycat will want to access a lap, and I don't like to share with a laptop. I'm a sprawller.

All this sleeping has me thinking big thoughts, and I think I have an idea that I'll share with you soon.

On a side note I wanted to thank all of you for sending me warm healing thoughts and love. They are really helping me and my parents feel better. Love to you all!

The Purr List Officially

2011-12-11T17:27:00.000-08:00

So there I was innocently hanging out in the shower stall (I like to hang there when I am not feeling well) when suddenly I was whisked into the PTU (Prisoner Transport Unit) and carted off to the VET. Not my usual vet either, cause they are not open on Sundays, so a new lady vet. My and Dad just thought she was great, I was not so thrilled.

I was actually starting to like her a little bit, till she started to manhandle me. She suggested that I don't like to be told what to do... yeah, she does really seem to get me. My usual vet file is marked with "Aggressive" and I live up to that title. Blood work, x-rays, and meds - oh my. The reviews are mixed, and she's not really sure what's up.

I'm really dehydrated so she sent my parents home with a bag and instructions on administering sub-q fluids. Good luck with that, I thought, I hope you have long sweaters and gloves. It went so-so, and we're waiting to see how I feel.

My kidney level is a little high, but the vet thinks it's because of the dehydration. The rest of my blood work was just fine, yeah for me. My x-ray was clear, but I do have arthritis in the hips, pretty normal for an old girl.

They are sending off my x-ray to a radiologist, as the vet is a little concerned there could be a more generalized, bigger issue. Hopefully it's just a gastro bug and getting fluids and antibiotics that taste cod awful will do the trick and have me feeling better in no time.

If you could be so kind as to add me to your purrs, we hope it's going to help get me and my parents through all this.

Purrs are Helping

2011-12-10T17:59:00.000-08:00

I'm still not eating a lot but I have snacked a bit, licked some gravy, and drank some cat milk. My parents say I am getting back a little sass too - if you consider trying to jump on the kitchen counters sass. So if you could keep a few spare purrs coming my way hopefully I will pull it out and be back to normal purfection.

Thanks for your support friends. It does mean the world to us here.

Spare Purrs Please

2011-12-10T09:57:00.000-08:00

I know I said I was going to spend the weekend purring for my friends, but I think I may need a few purrs of my own. I woke Mom up this morning with some hairball expulsions and I have been unwilling to eat since. I'm still drinking and although I seem interested in food, I kinda sniff and then walk away. I am usually always willing to eat.

Of course I've done this plenty of times before and rallied to be perfect, but you know how parents worry. If you could spare a purr or two I'd like to avoid being hauled off to the evil vet.

Growing old... it's not for kittens.

Floofy Friday

2011-12-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

Who could resist this face requesting an additional meal?

Dad. That's who.

Lucky for me, Mom is a pushover.

Dad is definitely the rule maker and I am the rule breaker. As I've said before, how do you know where the line is if you don't try to cross it. Who is the pushover at your place friends?

On a different note, Mom and I wanted to take a moment to send our best healing thoughts our to our friends who are unwell right now. Having a sick fur baby is so hard and Mom's heart goes out to all our friends in this position. We have seen amazing things happen with the power of purrs and I plan on spending the weekend with my purr motor on high. Stay well friends.

Lock Down

2011-12-07T18:39:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I was minding my own business, napping in the closet, and you'll never guess what happened. Dad shut the door... and then he left the house... for an hour or more. When I was finely set free my meower was all hoarse and rough, but luckily I have other ways to make my needs known.

Of course I have spent countless hours in that closet, in a single sitting, happy as can be, but it's always by my choice. I'm free to come and go as I please. What is it about being locked in to make you want nothing more than to be out? And the reverse is true too, if I'm locked out, I want nothing more than to be let in.

Toy Tuesday

2011-12-06T20:58:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd give a little shout out to a special toy.

Do you see it there in the background?

I know it's hard to focus with the darling grannycat in the foreground.

This is an exact replica of the toy Mom and I first played with at the shelter when she first found me. She had been searching for such a long time to find me, and when she walked into the shelter she saw me (darling little fluff ball with sass) and was immediately in love. Dad had told her no long hairs and so she tried to resist me, but let's face it who can resist me?

Mom noticed the swing toy and was trying to lure out all the kittens with it. I knew Mom was meant to be mine (she smelled like home to me - and she too is a long hair) and I was not gonna let her go. I jumped and leaped with such grace and enthusiasm that Mom could no longer resist me.

When I was settled into my home Mom found the same swing toy and bought it for me. It's still my favorite toy (Mousey is not a toy of course). One swing and I turn from mature grannycat to small kitten. It makes my parents so happy and it makes me happy too.

So friends, what brings out your inner kitten?

Floofy Friday

2011-12-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

For your viewing pleasure...

A bed of floofy goodness...

Notice the paw placement for extra cuteness points?

Weekend, you may now commence.

So friends, what do you have planned for the weekend? It's getting cold here in the desert and there are rumors we have a slight chance for snow. Sounds like snuggle weather. Perfect.

Full Tummy Tuesday

2011-11-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

Fin: Dad, where's Mom? She's late and it's time for my dinner, this is critical.

Dad: She's running late, so I guess I'll feed you. (Wanders aimlessly towards kitchen) Oh hey, looks like a light bulb out, I think I'll change it...

Fin: Dad! Focus! (Herding towards kitchen) You were gonna feed me remember?

Dad: Oh yeah. (Looking at tin) Uh oh. I bought the wrong kind. You don't like this one... it's ocean fish.

Fin: I love ocean fish! Crack it open.

Dad: Really? Okay. (Cracking open tin) Wow, this stuff stinks!

Fin: I know! Let it flow Dad!

Dad: You know who doesn't like this? Your Mom. She's gonna be grossed out.

Fin: Look Dad, Mom's a total drama queen when it comes to a little stinky food. Besides she's not even home. Let's filler up! (Dives into full dish)

Mom on Monday

2011-11-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

Mom is on her way back to work after a week-long vacation during which she did a lot of... nothing. I love a nothing vacation, so much time for napping and petting. Except for the Thanksgiving day abandonment it couldn't have been nicer. I have to admit I was really happy to have them back. Friday night I purred so loud when we went to bed it made Mom giggle.

Sunday was my parents twenty-fourth dating anniversary, and they celebrated the same way they had all week, doing a whole lot of nothing. It was great.

I had what Mom calls a Hollow Leg or a Case of the Hungries. I don't really question it much. Mom likes it since she gets so stressed when I don't feel like eating much. Some days you just get extra hungry... and no I don't think it had anything to do with my excessive play time with the nip nanna.

Mom started to not feel too hot on Saturday - we think she may have a little sinus infection, so she was feverish which makes her even more pleasant to nap on. Don't worry about her though, I have been very aggressive about getting my head in ~~her~~ our water cup, and you know how healing cat spit is. Plus she's had this view most of the week... and doesn't it make you feel better?

Yeah, all better.

Finally Floofy Friday

2011-11-25T17:54:00.000-08:00

Floofy Friday Mom? Just making it in under the wire as it's nearly Saturday...

Oh my, and an old pick at that. Tsk, tsk.

Wow! Reaching waaay back to the kitten archives. Shameless pandering.

This post has been brought to you by the slacker formerly known as Mom. Yes friends I have been abandoned. Left alone, all alone, with my Mousey. Sure they claimed it was only night, but as I've said before, one night in human years is seven in cat years. I have turned the back of disrespect to them both... after catching up on some neglected pets of course.

I hope your weekends go well friends. I will be alternating snuggles and irritation with my family.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T19:25:00.000-08:00

Well it's Thanksgiving here in the United States and we have so many things to be thankful for. Here are a few of my favorite things in no particular order:

My parents. Yep I love em in all their human imperfections, of which there are plenty.
Superglue which is capable of gluing together a broken wand toy (I know you're thinking I broke my toy but actually it was all Dad's doing).
Tuna and tuna water. So delish.
Mousey. How I love the sound of his little jingle bell.
A good chin scritch, one that wraps around to the cheek and ends with a hard ear rub. Puuuuuur!
A nice warm lap.

Oh sure there's other things too but my nap time is late and I have lots of napping to catch up on so I'm ready for the main event tomorrow. Turkey. The star of the Thanksgiving plate. Step aside stuffing, all hail the Turk.

We hope you all have lots of things to be thankful for in your world Friends. We are very thankful for you, of that you can be sure.

Transgressions

2011-11-22T00:00:00.000-08:00

Well my parents are on their vacation and so far I have to say my approval of their activities (or lack thereof) is mixed:

Pros and cons

Mom spent multiple hours reading the new Stephen King book allowing for ample lap time on the con side she also spent multiple hours on that darn laptop cutting valuable lap time down.
Mom downloaded said novel on Kindle to allow for one-handed book-holding/page-turning thereby freeing up other hand for petting (the good hand too) - on the con side she over-stimulated me with rough pets during a tense scene which caused a little bit of a bitey from me.
Extra time for a bonus Petsmart trip - but on the con side they brought back nothing fun (Kitty litter).
They put out the Chrismouse decorations (white feather theme!) but got bent outta shape when I whapped a few of the ornaments... crazy.

Floofy Friday

2011-11-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

Finny?

It's Friday, do you think you can show off your floofy belly?

Do you think this works Mom?

Yes Fin my sweet girl, I think the weekend can start now! I had my crown done today after my root canal and I am hoping my sweet pusser-pie will favor me with lots of healing lap snuggles this weekend. Her winter floof is starting to come in and she feels just like mink to me.

I'm on vacation next week and I can't wait. I may post some old favorites with some new stuff too, but I'm playing it by ear. Have a great weekend everyone!

Mom and Finny De Floof

Invasion

2011-11-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

Long time readers will know that I have had a major war with the mockingbirds in my neighborhood. The Mockingtons are on the tipy top of my tweet hit list. I dream of the taste of mockingbird roasting on an open fire (I don't do "raw").

It's offensive how they feel they own My Yard. Swooping down at me with their fowl language. They are too much! I had thought the year we had the one mocker that made a dead on impression of a car alarm in the middle of the night was the worst we could expect. I was wrong.

Yesterday morning Mom was driving down the block when she reported that two mockers flew directly at her car. Like the laws of motion (and splat) did not apply to them.

Dad walked out into the garage that evening and reported that Lady Mockington was in the garage and was perched on a shelving unit! Right there, in my own house (well close enough), a mocker. She proceeded to scold Dad for being in her space. He said he was expecting her to reach over take something off the Xmas shelf she sat on and make her nest right there.

Dad startled her off, but I suspect we have not heard (or seen) the last of these winged menaces. Apparently there's mockers over at my friends place (The Katnip Lounge) too. Take a look at this cheeky tweet.

I'll get you my pretty! ::Waves mighty paw in the air::

Sacked

2011-11-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

I love a good sack. I prefer paper (good for the environment and all) but there is nothing like a nice plastic sack with loud paper to drive one's parents nuts. I suggest a long pawing session first, really get their attention, a few pounces and then settle in.


What am I doing? Nothing...

Can't find your camera? That's too bad...

Figured out your fancy new phone has a camera? Drats!

Hope you had a great weekend friends! I hear rumors around Casa De Housecat that they may put up the Chrismouse tree early this year. Ornaments and dangling things here I come.

Floofy Friday

2011-11-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

In another edition of Phoning it in on Friday, here are some old floof pictures for your floof viewing pleasure.


I'm really workin it for the Pawparrazzi here

What do you mean you had a rough week Mom?

Mom claims she has had a rough week at work. I guess I'll believe her. She has seemed stressed when she's arrived at home. Tonight she even failed to ask me how my cat day was and ask me who the pretty kitty is. Of course we both know the answer, but I still like to be asked.

I knew my job was clear. Demand snuggles and lay on her lap looking cute as possible till she gives that face (you know the one - the squealy face). I even exposed my belly at closer range and let her hold my front paw while we snuggled. Cause I'm a giver, and truth be told, I do love her. She's Mom, nuff said.

Hope you all have a snuggling and relaxing weekend friends. Snuggle your humans, I imagine they can all use it.

Bold?

2011-11-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

I think I'm getting a bad rap lately friends. You see the coffee table is almost never used by my family and naturally I decided to take it over. I mean it's a low table - nuff said.

Clearly the table is mine...

Anywho my parents have suddenly decided they want to use the table. They seem to be placing plates of food on it. I am fine with this use, in fact I encourage it. Where the trouble comes in two fold:

Fold One - They think I should suddenly abandon my spot just cause they are there with their plates. I am perfectly willing to share the space. The fact that my tail gets close to their food is not my fault.

Fold Two - How can they think it's fair to deny me sampling access to said plates? They say I'm bold, like who knows what that means in this context? Dad says I have no respect for Mom and her boundaries - well he may have a point there.

Mom on Monday

2011-11-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends, Mom here. It's taken a chilly turn here in the desert Southwest. Our Fall lasts for about one afternoon. We wake up one day while it's still fairly Summery and for a few glorious hours we have Fall. During those few hours we all gather around the TV to watch the one tree in the city turn autumnal and drop all it's leaves, and then by the evening Winter arrives.

Okay it's a slight exaggeration... sometimes the very next day can be Summer or Spring. Our poor trees get so confused they finally drop all their leaves in exhaustion.

I have to admit to a guilty confession, I love it when the weather turns cold cause I get my girl back. During the long hot months here I barely get a snuggle from my sweet floofy girl. I can only administer loving chin scritches from a distance. If I get any lap time, it's quick and a bit cranky.

When the weather turns cold my lap goes from the least popular spot to the most desired. She loves it best when I have a blanket over my lap so she can really sprawl. I get to pet my sweet girl and hear her happy purrs which warm my heart as she warms my legs.

This weekend my girl has been so happy and kitteny. Playing with her toys and snuggling close. I love it. Now if you'll excuse me I have a cat waiting to take her spot back.

Floofy Friday

2011-11-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I'd be able spend a weekend on My Porch, I think there's gonna be rain. I guess it won't be too bad if it fills up my fountain.

it's looking a little dry down here Mom

I guess I'll be spending time snuggling instead. Mom had a root canal through her crown today and she is a bit tender in the gums. For all my friends who sent healing thoughts her way they really helped. She says it went much better than she feared. The doctor was very kind (and hunky) and made sure she was really numbed up. She has trouble getting numb and as a result she's a GIANT wussy and was really needing to go for a long time.

I think it's odd that if I show the slightest sign of discomfort in any way and they whisk me off to the Vet (I don't even have to show discomfort - just eat more or less than usual even). Yet my parents will complain and fuss about various ailments and yet they fight like a tabby to avoid going to the human vet. Just once I'd like to shove Mom in the PTU (Prisoner Transport Unit) and take her in.

Ah well a kitty can dream. In the meantime I shall sit on her and smoother her with healing purrs... and try to sneak some healing cat spit into her water glass when she isn't looking... cause I'm a giver.

What do you have planned this weekend friends? I hope you have a great weekend.

Laundry Day

2011-11-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

Today was laundry day. I love laundry day. Nothing like rolling around on a pile of warm clothes, fresh from the drier.

I love the smell of Downy in the morning, or the afternoon.

I really don't understand why Dad gets so irritable. What's a little cat floof on your shirt? It was there before you washed it, and it'll be there as soon as you put it back on again. Sheesh.

I was expecting the usual "Get off those!" yell when Dad totally surprised me as I rolled on the pile. He started to laugh really hard, really hard. Seems my rooting around in the pile caused a pair of undies to wrap around my neck like a scarf. All that laughing startled me and I raced down the hall with my new outfit on. It seemed to make he laugh even harder.

I don't know what the big deal is... cause that happens to everyone. Right?

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

Mom did these a few years ago and they still make her laugh.

Punk Rock Princess.

Queen of the Fairies

Dad loves Halloween, so he gets super nerdy excited at this time of year. He carves up his special cyclops pumpkin and decorates the doorway, not as much as we see at some folks home in the hood. Mom prepares the traditional meal of worms in blood sauce (spaghetti) and they lay in wait.

Dad wears his traditional costume of middle-aged guy who's super excited to give away candy. Mom likes to wear her traditional costume of middle-lady sitting in her nightie with messy hair in the dark. I stand in the distance and allow the children to admire me. I'm not a big fan of the doorbell so Dad tries to open the door before they get to the bell. It tends to scare them, but isn't that part of the fun?

Happy Halloween to all of you!

Floofy Friday

2011-10-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Psst, Friday? Are you out here again?

Kinda smells like Thursday... Nope, Friday! Woot!

Thank Cod It's Friday! My Dad is gonna be busy carving up pumpkins and Mom is looking forward to watching scary movies. I like it when she watches scary movies cause she likes to snuggle me close. I do have to be careful of things that make her jump though, cause she's a tosser.

True story (according to Mom) when she was a young human she went to see a movie, and because she likes to feel "one" with the movie, she sat in one of the front rows with her big sack of popcorn. She had just settled in when the trailer for the movie "The Fog" came on, suddenly a hand jumped out of the fog and she tossed her hands up to her face... unfortunately she still had the popcorn sack in her hands. So there she sat in a shower of popcorn which landed all over her.

There was a couple of seconds of dead silence in the packed theater before the whole place started to laugh. She was picking kernels out of her hair throughout the film to the snickers of the audience. At the end, as they began to exit the theater, the man sitting behind her sat forward and patted her on the shoulder as he whispered "You were the best part of the movie!" and they both laughed together.

Mom has always dreamed of being part of the movies, and since she can't be tossing popcorn in every theater, she's decided to write a screenplay. Someone has to write them right? I approve of this blatant disregard of writing my next book because it's got tigers in it.

::Shameless Plug Alert:: For any of my new readers I do have a book out now, also called Housecat Confidential, and it's available in pretty much all the e-book formats and in paperback on Amazon. ::End of the Plug::

Hope you are all having a great weekend. What do you have planned friends?

Herding

2011-10-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

My Granny Sass-O-Meter has been cranked up lately friends. I am trying to get my parents back in line. I run a pretty tight ship here and a tight ship needs regular tightening to keep it running right.

To keep my parents moving in the right direction I find it necessary to herd them occasionally. Human herding can be difficult, the trick is not to allow the obvious size difference deter you. Sure they're bigger but they can be corralled. I find a couple of methods useful.

To prevent any movement from the desired location (say the area where your dish is located) the "Circle the Wagons" method is a sure fire hit. You'll just need to snake around the legs, their desire not to step on you will do the rest of the work for you.

To get them moving (say towards your dish) I like the "Giddy Up" or the my own "Hi-Ho Silver" method. The Giddy Up involves an unexpected leap forward and then tearing forward. The Hi-Ho Silver is advanced and involves rearing up on your back paws and then hopping a couple of times before tearing forward. Both methods seem to intrigue the humans and get them to follow you.

Well that's gonna end the lesson for tonight kitties, Mom claims she is busy and working on other projects. Sigh. I still have lots of work to do here too apparently. Please give my methods a go and let me know what methods you use. It's good to shake things up.

Obsessed

2011-10-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this ever happens to you friends, but sometimes my parents become obsessed with me. They are frequently obsessed with my whereabouts, as they search around the house. I'm a housecat, where am I going to go? I'm somewhere in the house. Let it go.

They can also grow obsessed with my intake and my ::whispers:: output. Sure I'd been having some tummy issues off and on, but I'm fine. I have a spring in my step and my tail is high and floofy. You'd have thought I expelled gold as excited as they've been to discuss the ::whispers:: output. Honestly folks get yourselves a hobby.

Mom claims I have my own obsession. I suppose I do. I love the bathroom sink and the water that drips from it. Gosh it's fascinating. Even when I'm not thirsty I just love to watch it. I also tend to demand snuggles from Mom while I determine if I'm thirsty. The other day she was phoning it in with a one-handed pet, and I was not going to have it. I reached out with my paw, grabbed her other hand (that was doing nothing) and brought over to my chin.

Luckily she got the idea and started up the two-handed pets I enjoy. I like it when she gives rough pets down the sides and pats at my tail base. I like it best when she calls out encouragements like "get in there" and "let's mix it up!" as she administers the pets. It gets me fired up and stokes my thirst so I'm ready to dive into the stream. So tasty from the tap!

What about you friends to you or your family have any obsessions?

Floofy Friday

2011-10-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

I brought the Floof, now where's the Friday?

I'm going to find Friday... I don't know where it hides the rest of the week,

but it's time to hunt it down don't you think?

Maybe it's over here...

Friday? Are you hiding in here... sorta smells like you.

Yeah, definitely smells like Friday in here.

Helloooooo? I know you're in here.

Don't be shy, everyone is gonna be thrilled to see you!

Don't worry friends, I'm on the case. Once I find Friday, I'll start hunting down that elusive Saturday. Luckily Sunday always seems to be right where you left it. Purrs and love to you on this fine pre-weekend friends.

Routine

2011-10-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I love routine. I also don't need to tell you that nothing is more irritating then when my parents act as if they don't know the routine and flagrantly disregard it. It doesn't take too many repetitions for me to consider something a routine either.

Mom is trying to break me of one of my new routines. If her lap is clear she pat-pats her lap and calls to me to get me to come for snuggle-time, naturally I ignore her - but as soon as I see she that has her laptop on her lap, I feel it's critical to nip it in the bud.

I notice she gets too deep in thought when she is looking at the screen, brows are furrowed and lips are pursed. I don't want Mom's face to get stuck like that and I doubt she would either. So I dutifully climb onto her chair and meow till she puts the lid down, and then sit on the lid - just out of reach of those knot-seeking fingers.

I used to climb onto the lap and try to get comfortable around the laptop, real politely. Now I just say no, you're done when I think the time is right. Just as it should be. I think it's best cause she used to get all worked up when my paws would mess up her keyboard or delete text, etc.

Mom spoke to Dad about maybe using her ~~crap~~ craft room as a writing spot, and something about a door she could shut. Why ever would she want that, no matter, I have meow-power that bust through any door.

Scofflaw

2011-10-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

What Mom? Not allowed on the coffee table?

No, I am not familiar with that rule.

So silly, I mean why clean it off if not to have a cat on it? I think you can see that I am very cute up here. My friends can see the tummy, the toes and the tail (in motion) so it really can't be against any rules. Besides you know that I am going to have to ignore any rule on sheer principle alone.

I'm going to remain up here for a good long time just to prove my point, unless you crack open a can of my wet food. I mean a point can be made very quickly when gravy is waiting.

Floofy Friday

2011-10-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

Well friends it was almost a Floofless Friday. It all started innocently enough, as most things do, at the bathroom sink. I was waiting for Mom to turn on my faucet so I could dive in for a sip. Mom had left her future shower towel on the counter and, since it was in my spot, I nestled on it.

When Mom emerged from her shower, she was bothered about me being on her towel - something about cat hair and wet flesh - who listens, not me. I really stretched out as she dried herself off with another towel and got dressed. Maybe it was the irritation that made her pick up the Zoom Groom and begin to aggressively comb at my side floof.

She caught the edge of my floof with the Zoomy and pulled it across the towel. She noticed that it stretched out my furs and made it easy to see the loose strands. I noticed the aggressive noise it made. We were both excited at the process. One side of my body was defloofed, but I drew the line when she tried to get to the other side.I was over-stimulated and a little warning bitey was issued.

I must say I did really enjoy it and the sleek furs were very nice. I might even pretend to not notice the other side being groomed next time.

I know you need your fix before the weekend can begin so behold - Me, pre-de-floofing.

Now Imagine half of that side floof gone, don't worry there's still plenty left. Enjoy your weekend friends!

What? on Wednesday

2011-10-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

Last night I decided to take my beloved, Mousey, out for a stroll around the house. During our late night together time I enjoy singing my song of love to my precious.

Mom and Dad call my song a strangled cry. I don't care what they say because Mousey loves my song. I can't help that his faux-fur makes him a little plump, and harder to enunciate when he's in my mouth.

Anyway last night I was racing through the hall with Mousey, instead of my leisurely stroll, and my usual song seemed a little slow. I decided to speed up my tune, kinda a Mousey remix. DJ turn it up, up, up!

Apparently it made my standard song sound a little freaky and frantic to Mom and she sat straight up in bed. She called out to me, sounding frantic herself, to see if I was okay. I guess she must have heard Mousey's jingle bell and realized it was just me and my sweet mouse.

You know what she did next? She yelled at me to knock it off!

Everyone's a critic.

My Good Times - Ruined

2011-10-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

So there I was on a Sunday morning, enjoying a nice nap in my favorite ~~hiding~~ hang out spot, the bedroom closet, when all heck broke loose. The closet is typically littered with laundry baskets for a cat to tuck behind and get a good nap in. It's dark too, so the Pawparazzi is rarely able to get in a shot.

Mom strolled into the closet with a real bee in her bonnet. She sorta tripped on a basket and moved it, then she moved the one I was behind. She started muttering something about "consolidation" and "Fall cleaning" and I ignored her, cause she mutters stuff all the time. She'll often move a basket or two and then quickly peter out and put things pretty much back where they were. I really had no strong indication that this was any different, and I was ready to knuckle down and get in my hundred and forty winks.

I don't know what came over Mom this time, but she was like a woman possessed. She started flinging old clothes and shoes out of the closet and into piles. When I asked her the meaning of the piles she replied that one of the larger piles was a "donate" pile. Donate?!

Does she not know that those old towels and blankets are one of my favorite beds? Soon Dad was joining in and I could only watch in shock and awe. I know it's early for Halloween, but honestly it was like a horror show.

Where will I ~~hide~~ hang out now? Do you have any ideas friends?

Floofy Friday

2011-10-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Friday. I've missed you.

Yesterday I thought I'd hit the jackpot. Mom was late coming home. Dad was getting irritated by my requests for my meal, something about whining, and I finally convinced him to outlay the goods.

Mom tends to be stingy with my food (and most other things too actually). Dad dumped out a huge portion of food in my dish. I could hardly believe it. I felt like a lioness who had taken down a water buffalo on the Serengeti. I tucked into that food like - Mom was gonna take it away, but of course she wasn't home, yet.

Mom arrived awhile later, about the time the tummy ache kicked in. Three yaks and two hairballs later, I felt a lot better. I'm still feeling a little full and out of sorts today. I hope to sleep it off today so I'm ready for the weekend.

How about you friends, what do you have planned?

Closet Inspection

2011-10-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Mom: Fin? Finny? Where are you?

Fin: Psst, Mom. I'm in here.

Mom (Opening the closet door): In here? I don't see you?

Fin: Over here, behind the laundry basket, and Dad's pants.

Mom: What are you hiding from?

Fin: Hiding? I'm not hiding.

Mom: Well you're late for breakfast, it's almost 5:30am. Why don't you come out?

Fin (Whispering): Can you bring my breakfast in here?

Mom: No! Hey your not scared of the rain and thunder are you?

Fin: No! I'm just catching up on my closet inspection duties. Is the storm over yet?

Mom: Yep.

Fin (Running past Mom to kitchen): Let's go Mom! The day is practically over!

Abandoned

2011-10-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

So friends, there I was on Saturday morning doing my warm-up exercises and I was dreaming of my extended porch time. I was getting ready to wake Mom up, when she woke up on her own. I can't say this never happens, but luckily I am there to shoulder the burden.

She sprang from her bed like a gazelle (no, that never happens - maybe gazelle is over selling). Next thing you know Mom was rousting Dad from bed too. The sun wasn't even up yet. What's going on for the love of Cod, I wondered.

Well I figured it out when she laid out a huge dish of food and filled my kibble dish to the brim. This is not a good sign. It is a sign of certain abandonment. In some cruel twist of fate I did not notice the second frozen plate of food under the paper towel. Who would do such a thing? Something about thinking I wouldn't get to the frozen plate till later in the day, but who looks under a paper towel for their food?

Luckily I managed to survive the night. Barely.

Floofy Friday

2011-09-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

What's worth all those sharp pointy rocks?

Really good sniffs.

So it's Friday, how great. Mom is practically giddy for some reason. I am ready to kick up my paws, roll around in dirt and nap. Maybe some playtime with the Parents. Yep, sounds purrfect.

How about you friends? What do you have planned? We hope it's something fun. Weekend, you may now begin!

Ambush

2011-09-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Psst! Psst! Fin here. I'm lying in wait for my prey. I have the perfect vantage point in the L-shaped hallway. I hear Mom futzing about in the laundry room. It can only be a matter of time before she strolls by... and yes, I would be shocked if she was actually doing laundry.

It's giving me time to plan my attack. A little something I like to call a granny ambush. I run straight in front of her lumbering feet and race into the bedroom at full granny speed. If I can score with a direct hit on the shin or foot so much the better. I love the startled squeal I get.

I hope she chases me back. Playing chase with Mom gives new meaning to the cat game of "Thundering Herds of Elephants" if you catch my drift. MOL

Oh! I hear her coming, wish me luck!

Trifecta Tuesday

2011-09-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

Tail, Toes and Tummy

Look at the toe floof!

You're welcome.

So how was your weekend? It was still pretty warm this weekend, but I demanded some porch time. It felt so great to roll and loll about. I was able to get cobwebs and leaves all up in my fur. I've been feeling so great the last few days! Mom says I am like her kitten again, chasing my toys and everything.

Some of you might remember I wasn't feeling my best a bit ago. Tummy upset and hairballs were the start. I heard a great universal purr and I started to feel better. Mom decide to mix up my food and feed me the special kidney diet food. You know what, I liked it. They went out and bought a case and I refused to eat it. Cod how I love doing that! Anywho I eventually gave in and starting it and I have to admit I feel great.

My Sass-O-Meter is on tilt friends!

Floofy Friday

2011-09-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for some Friday Floof?

This way?

Or this way?

Ah, just right.

Mom says that photo series was like a floofy mug shot. Apparently I'm being arrested for cuteness. The punishment for that crime you ask... corporal cuddling.

Yes, shortly after these pics I was scooped and cuddled against my will. The fact that I enjoyed it for the first few minutes in no way makes up for the additional snuggles forced upon me. A darling grannycat's work is never done.

Hope you all have a great weekend planned.

Thoughtless Thursday

2011-09-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

Yep, we are fresh out tonight.

Please enjoy the floofy cat sniffing the wind.

Norwegian Dream

2011-09-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

Thank Cod for my delightful friends! How awesome are my readers? Let me tell you! I got this email from one of my kindle-reading pals -

"I know this isn't what Fin is really referring to, but I got a laugh out of it. Saw this in Swedish store in Door County Wisconsin.

Shannon, Footsie, Moo, Stewie, Smokey & Cupcake"

We got a great laugh too!

It's like it was written just for me. Can you see the subtitle "Living the Norwegian Dream." I am a Norwegian Forest Cat, well probably, my lineage is a bit unclear. Of course I think I'm descended from royalty - it's not such a stretch, they did name an entire land after me, you know Fin-Land.

Thank you so much for thinking of me Shannon, Footsie, Moo, Stewie, Smokey & Cupcake! And Cod bless you too!

Bugging Mom

2011-09-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

Mom: Finny!! Finny! Wake up! There's a bug in the kitchen.

Fin: Yeah, I know.

Mom: You didn't kill it?

Fin: Nope. It's below my minimum weight class, and my skill level. It was already half dead on its own, no sport in that.

Mom: But... who's gonna kill it?

Fin: Looks like you or Dad are gonna have to take this one. I have a nap to get back to.

Mom: Is this cause I forgot to post yesterday on International Meow Like A Pirate Day?

Fin: I don't know you scurvy wench, why don't you ask all my friends who could have shivered their timbers on my e-pirate ship?

Mom: I knew it! Come on, I'm sorry. Please kill the bug.

Fin: Fine, I'll finish him off, but you're gonna have to deal with the carcass.

Floofy Friday

2011-09-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

Put your paws in the air!

Yippee! It's Friday Friends.

Time to kick up those paws and get on with the weekend!

And now for your belly viewing pleasure...

Weekend, you may now begin.

Have a great one friends!

Who Cares Wednesday

2011-09-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

So this weekend was the perfect weather after a long hot summer. I could hardly wait to get out on that porch. Mom stepped out first and left the door closed.

She went to scurry back inside and shut the door on my outdoor activities, and I'd had it. I was not going to be denied. I breezed by and strolled out on the porch. Mom started acting all weird (no that is not uncommon) and when I looked to my left I saw the issue - Mittens the yard cat was right on My Porch mere feet from me.

I considered issuing a warning growl as I typically do, but the day was so perfect, and I didn't want to risk being shoved back indoors. So I ignored him. I acted like he was not even there. Who cares?

I flopped right onto the cement and rolled for a good five minutes getting dirts deep down into my floof. Mom and Mittens looked on, both oddly frozen to their spots. It wouldn't be in my nature not to "Push It" so I got up and strolled over to about a foot from Mittens and hissed right in his face.

I give him credit, he stood stock still and took it in stride - I think he was more interested in the thought of a little breakfast kibble action. Mom on the other hand had to ruin the whole moment and usher me back inside. She took some food outside for the interloper. I stood vigil at the screen till he left and then demanded a return to My Porch.

Sometimes you gotta show you're a lady cat and sometimes you gotta show you're not taking any guff from anyone.

700 Posts!

2011-09-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, technically, it's 701. My "crackerjack" staff writer didn't even notice it till today. So many posts, and still so much to say and see.

I had some excellent Porch Time this weekend, and of course the Pawparazzi was relentless in following me. Luckily, I always look good, which is more than I can say about the Pawparazzi. ~~700~~ 701 posts and some things never change.

No, I won't look, I'm busy here.

A tweet made a fly by.

We can honestly say that without all of you out there reading this, we wouldn't have made it to 100 posts, let alone ~~700~~ 701. Our readers really mean the world to us.

I have a couple of writing projects I have Mom working on, and we hope to have announcements on them soon. In the meantime, business as usual, and onwards to 800!

Floofy Friday

2011-09-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

Ah, Porch Time. Sun so bright, I look like a pawless hovercat.

That's better. Darling paws all present and accounted for.

So some yahoo declared September 9th as "No Cats on the Internet Day". Seriously? Can you even imagine? No cats? Many of my pals are celebrating instead "Mo Cats on the Internet Day" take that yahoo.

What do you all have planned this weekend? We hope it's something fun. The weather is supposed to break finally and I have big plans for my porch. I couldn't help but notice that leaves are all over the place... and my little garden, well, let's say it's a situation.

A Grannycat's work is never done. Have a great weekend friends!

Look Who's Coming to Dinner

2011-09-07T00:00:00.000-07:00

Fin (Circling legs of parents as they eat at dining table): Mew!

Dad: Fin! Knock it off!

Fin: Mom! Psst! Throw some scraps down!

Mom: No Finny. You know you're tummy has been upset, so no steak bites.

Fin (Leaping onto the chair left pulled out in error): Hey Oh! Steak!?

Mom (Trying not to giggle): What are you doing at the table?

Fin (Sniffing): Is that Medium Well? Steak is a well known tummy tamer!

Dad: Get down.

Dad: Take that paw down... Wait! Oh no you don't!

Fin (Blurred by the shear speed of my granny ninja moves): Mew!

Sadly, despite my mad poaching skills, I was denied my beefy prize.

No Labor Day

2011-09-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

It's Labor Day in the United States today and we plan on celebrating by performing no labor whatsoever. Just a long leisurely nap, followed by a snuggle, a meal, and back to a nap. Sounds just about perfect to me.

Okay maybe just a little labor as I'd like to see Dad fire up the new barbeque and provide some table scraps! I'll take some Chick-Hen if you please.

I think your purrs and kind words are helping me feel better. I was eating a lot better today. Mom says I have extra spunk and sass, and that is just the way she likes me - words I'll cling to when she complains about being awakened at 4am tomorrow morning. Thanks, you all mean the world to us.

Hope your day is filled with just the right amount of labor to be perfect.

Floofy Friday

2011-09-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, these rocks are sharp on the paws. Gotta walk carefully.

Plus I have to try not to laugh too hard when Mom is shouting norty words walking on them, trying to get the shot. HaHa ::Snorts:: Mew

Better move fast Mom! Lot's of things to check out.

Those humming birds are gonna need to be on alert.

Happy Friday! Hope you all have a great weekend friends.

P.S. Saturday is Dad's B-day so we may not be around visiting much this weekend.

P.P.S. Mom thinks I'm feeling a bit under the weather, although I'm still spunky. Shedding season is rough this year, so if you could send me a few purrs, I'm sure they'll do the trick.

Wowsa

2011-08-29T19:10:00.000-07:00

Wowsa friends, things are pretty dicey at Casa De Housecat tonight. Mom cooked cauliflower and broccoli. We may die from the fumes! It's still too darned hot at 7pm to open a window much less a door.

How I miss the air outside, with the sweet after smell of a nice fat tweet in the breeze. I love the smell of hummingbird in the morning. I haven't had a bug to chase in a week.

Dear Cod, please let me use the litter box to get rid of this horrifying stench. I may have to go twice.

I better get to work friends, I have my work cut out for myself.

Mousey Monday

2011-08-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

Well friends, she caught me again.

I really thought Mom was fully distracted. She was yammering on with Aunt Jenny on the phone, and Dad was napping.

I saw my precious Mousey in the hall, and I decided it was safe to move him closer to the den. I like to keep him in my sights, and I often carry him to rest just outside the room where I am hanging out. I do not allow my parents to see me with him. Ever. Although they do hear me with him, as I like to sing with him in my mouth.

I got a little carried away singing out my love song. He was nestled just right in my jaws, and I was able to really sing out. I was so distracted that I walked right into the den.

I looked up and that is when I saw Mom's shocked face and her mouth forming the perfect "O" and I knew I was busted. Of course I dropped Mousey right where I stood, but it was too late. She started whispering to Aunt Jenny and shoved her hand in her mouth to try to imitate my love song meows.

So embarrassing. Then I realized if I didn't come clean she would be over here blabbing about it, saying it's like seeing Big Foot or something. She's such a smug drama queen.

Just a lady spending some quality time with her Mouse. Jeez.

Finally Floofy Friday

2011-08-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Well Summer finally really kicked in here. It's been as high as 115 some days this week. It's made us all like slugs. I guess my pleasant letter to Mr Global Warming has not had the desired effect. I'm gonna have to think about how to approach this.

It's been so hot that my parents scurry into the house and try to stay inside as much as possible. So my porch time has been cut down to the minimum. Just trying to stay cool by lots of drinking, um, water that is.

Overall we've been pretty luckily this Summer, as it's normally this hot for most of July and parts of August. This time of the year Mom begins to wonder why we live in the desert.

We can't wait for Autumn..

When a grannycat can lounge on her porch without worrying about burning her asterisks on the cement. Have a great weekend friends, and try to stay cool. If you live somewhere cold, please feel free to contact me for a sun swap.

Cat Beds

2011-08-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

So my little bed in yesterday's post is sometimes my favorite place in the world, and other times I don't step one paw in it.

Not one paw.

Mom thinks it's based on the temperature. In the cool weather I do love to get all toasted up in there, and then I jump out to expose my belly and cool off. In the Summer, even with the A/C it's still pretty hot here in the desert, so I tend to spend my days belly up on the cool tile.

Yes, it is hard to sleep with all the delighted squealing of how cute I am, but I endure it.

The other reason I am currently refusing my bed... come closer... ::Whispers:: There's cat hair in it! Sure, sure, I know it's mine, but would it kill them to run that tape thingy over it?

What? on Wednesday

2011-08-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

What is going on in the world today (Tuesday)? The news is filled with all kinds of sad and bizarre news. On days like today, I find it's best to just curl up in a ball and purr your way into tomorrow.

Anyone want to join me in a big floof pile?

It might be a tight fit...

Abandoned

2011-08-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

Fin: You'll never guess what happened to me this weekend friends. I was abandoned for 10 days!

Mom: Fin what are you talking about. Your Dad and I were out of town for a day and a half tops.

Fin: Right, like I was saying, 10 whole long days.

Mom: Why do you keep saying that?

Fin: Mom, we've been over this before. Cats live seven years for each one of yours. So one day equals seven to me. Do the math. Oh and I was starved friends!

Mom: Your dishes were all left full!

Fin: But who wants to eat wet food after all the gravy is gone? And dry kibble? It's like cruel and unusual punishment.

Mom: Oh for Cod's sake. Come on over here and I'll shower you with scritches.

Fin: Now is not a good time for me. I'll see you at 1am.

Floofy Friday

2011-08-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

Maybe this should be titled Foliage Friday?

Ah, this looks better.

So there I was, enjoying a nice sniff at this plant, when I was assaulted! A sassy little humming bird flew right up in my face. I was shocked and appalled. Mom started laughing (yes she has wildly inappropriate responses).

Yep, it was all fun and games till the humming bird flew right into Mom's face too! She was so startled that she stepped back in dismay.

Humming Bird 2 - Mom and Fin 0

Can you imagine the nerve? I must say I almost admire that level of sass - just not in a tweet. When I napped today, I dreamed of humming bird covered in gravy - it's small, but eats like a meal.

I can see that my work is cut out for me when the weather improves. The tweets are running amok. Sigh. So what is everyone up to this weekend? We hope you have a great time friends!

Whipped Wednesday

2011-08-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Mom here. I know some of you must think that Fin has me pretty well wrapped around her paw, at first I was going to deny it, but I have to admit you're pretty much right.

When it comes to the multi-meals, I have noticed that when I put out a big full portion of food with her hyperthyroid medicine tucked into a pill pocket, she eats around it. She is a unrepentant gravy-licker. So she gets a small first meal to make sure she eats the pill, and then she gets the remaining portion of her meal.

I was also going to say that she wasn't always this spoiled, and she wasn't, at least not to the same degree. She has always woke me up at the crack of dawn like the day depended on it. As a younger cat I felt fully justified in telling her to go eat her dry food however (I can hear the cries of injustice throughout the land).

As my girl has grown older, I have to admit that I feel like she deserves some extra spoiling. Extra treats help keep her a bit plumper, and extra food helps keep meat on those granny bones. I give her the really stinky food which she loves instead of the other kind.

When I think about refusing her my time, I remember that my time with her is no longer limitless. Every opportunity I have to give her snuggles and love is a moment I will cherish when she leaves us someday.

Don't we all wanted to be treated that way in our golden years by the ones we love?

Mom on Monday

2011-08-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning I went to wake Mom at 4am. She fussed more than usual about feeding me, but despite all the complaining she did manage to scoop me out a small portion of food.

At around 5am I noticed again that I was hungry. Sure it was a bit early for second breakfast, but I was hungry. Suddenly she complained about waking up by saying something like "Blah, blah, blah... something about being kept up for three mornings in a row, and making a point" I don't know, I mostly tuned out most of it, cause my tummy was growling, well, sort of.

Had I been a little... aggressive about getting her up the last few mornings? I guess, from her perspective, I might have been, but really there's lots to get done and the day doesn't start on it's own. So yes, there may have been lots of meowing and pawing to get her out of the bed.

She started flailing about and said something like "absolutely not... blah, blah, eat your dry food" then buried herself in covers. After about an hour of meowing, I decided to let her sleep in.

At 7:30am (I know! Can you believe it? It might has well been Monday.) she finally rousted herself out of bed. When she complained about being really stiff - I blew a silent raspberry in her directions.

Finally Floofy Friday

2011-08-12T18:06:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. Cod! Mom posted a Wednesday post on Friday! She didn't even realize her error until lunch time today! Does she not realize that many of you depend on my floof to get your weekend off on the right paw?

All I can say is that I am sorry for the shortcomings of my staff writer. Sigh. If it weren't for all the lovins, I'd have requested a replacement already.

And now without further ado... Your Floofy Friday Cat Fix

What's that I smell?

Is it Saturday?

No, still Friday... just in time.

You may now proceed with your regularly scheduled weekend. We hope you have something fun planned friends.

What? on Wednesday

2011-08-11T19:46:00.000-07:00

Yeah I know Wednesday is almost over, but I had to report this odd occurrence...

Mom: Mmm ::Chomps on snack::

Fin: ::Lifts head to sniff the air:: Whatcha eatin Mom? Something I'd like?

Mom: I doubt it sweetie. :Crunch, crunch::

Fin: Smells kinda good. ::Attempts to stick head in snack sack::

Mom: Hey get your head out of there. It's Kale Chips.

Fin: ::Pulls head from sack:: Kale? The stuff you push off your plate cause it's the garnish?

Mom: Yeah, but this is dried, organic, raw, and ranch flavored... hey where are you going Finny?

Fin: ::Walks from room:: I'm taking a nap. Call me when you start hitting the beef jerky.

Not Exactly

2011-08-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

I had the perfect plan for World Cat Day. I really thought I was on track when Dad woke up unexpectedly early and provided first breakfast without prompting (okay minimal prompting). Mom woke up and provided second breakfast and I was thrilled.

Then communications broke down.

Dad went to work and then Mom too. Mom did apply a liberal helping or two of neck scritches before she left. I had lots of nap and play time with Mousey.

Dad came home early and provided dinner on time. Mom came home at the appointed hour and showered me with guilt ridden lovin. She went on about how I was the best cat ever. I spent the evening between laps.

All in all it was a great World Cat Day. As is everyday. Purrs.

World Cat Day

2011-08-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

August 8th is World Cat Day (I guess we moved it, or maybe we called it twice. We're allowed, we're cats).

Here is my plan for the perfect World Cat Day:

Mom rises at 4am and fixes my meal without my needing to bug her
Mom rises at 5:30am and serves second breakfast
Mom puts fresh water in my bowls at 5:40am
Dad rises at 6am and provides a sparkly clean litter box for my first deposit
Dad scoops first deposit and readies litter box for later deposit
Parents call out sick at "work"
Family nap
Family rises at 8am and parents provide ham scraps from breakfast
Parents leave home for two hours so Mousey and I can enjoy the day in private
Parents return home for snuggle session
Family nap
Mom rises at 4pm and fixes my meal without prodding
Extended snuggles while visiting chums blogs
Private nap (I need some solid sleep time, no one telling me how cute I am)
Final meal of the day
Crawl into bed for final snuggles and bed time

Floofy Friday

2011-08-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

Mom has been a complete waste of space this week, something about working, blah blah. So instead of a fresh picture of a darling floofy grannycat you'll have to start your weekend off with some of our favorites.

Luckily I'm darling, so I'm sure she'll be forgiven. We should have named this post Phoning it in Friday. I think it's all the hot weather is draining out our will to think big thoughts. Little thoughts like, feed me, pet me and fill my kibble bowl are really all I care to muster.

What about you friends? Are your brain cells melting? Hey wasn't Mr Global Warming supposed to lay off? Instead he has been a big fat show off. Sigh. I guess my next letter is going to have to be more firm.

Have a great weekend and stay cool, or warm depending where you are.

Thoughtless Thursday

2011-08-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

I really don't have many thoughts today.

Mom? You got anything?

So sad.

Since neither one of us had anything too critical to post, I assumed I would be given full lap access. No. There was the laptop in my spot. Then Mom had the nerve to be put out when I demanded my snuggles. She did not close the laptop lid quickly enough, and as a result my back paw turned off her cursor in some misguided keyboard combination.

Discouraged by her inability to figure it out, the lid was closed and satisfactory snuggles commenced. By the fact she is typing this, I am happy to report she managed to figure out the cursor issue.

What? on Wednesday

2011-08-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

Mom: Finny, I need to have a conversation with you. I'd like to discuss.... blah, blah, blah...

Is that a bug over there? ::Pats carpet with paw:: No, just a ball of floof.

Mom: And your Dad agrees with me... wah, wah, wah...

Is that dirt on my white cuff? ::Licks at paw::

Mom: Fin? Are you paying attention?

Fin: Yes Mom! Of course.

Mom: Okay. Well as I was saying...

I wonder what the inside of my eyelids look like right now. Maybe just a quick look.

Fresh

2011-08-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

Earlier today I decided I needed a little lap time with Mom. I started my usual survey of the territory, trying to tamp down the offending lumps. I was just beginning to settle on a spot when Mom said

"You smell..."

I never expected the sentence to end with

"like a waterfall in a meadow! Did you sleep on a fabric softening sheet?"

I shall never tell. I normally smell like sunshine and rainbows.

Floofy Friday

2011-07-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

Maybe Mom thought it was unfocused Friday?

Ah well, I still rock it.

I haven't heard anything back from G Warming. Maybe this weekend. So what do you all have planned for this weekend?

Mom is threatening Summer Cleaning (yeah, she's a little late for Spring Cleaning, although she would argue she's early for Fall Cleaning). I'm all for it - unless it involves de-floofy any part of the house, or the Evil Dyson, or throwing out my sack (I have it perfectly tamped down)... maybe I don't really want her to clean after all. She's even threatening to call the carpet cleaning company. Hopefully she looses steam, she usual does. No cat wants strangers in the house with major equipment.

Have a great weekend friends. Stay cool or warm as the case may be.

Oh yeah, has anyone seen July? Mom keeps saying she has no idea where it went.

Global Warming

2011-07-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr Global Warming,

Let me begin by saying my initial draft of this letter was a bit terse, but then I tried to put myself in your shoes (do you wear shoes? I digress). I realized you're like the new kid in school, and that can be difficult to navigate.

Mother Earth and Mr Sun have been around forever and you're new on the scene. Let me give you a few tips Warm, may I call you Warm?

First of all no one likes a show off, and you're clearly show boating. You're like the nerdy kid in the front row with all the answers. Take it from me, no appreciates a show boater.

Second you need to chill. If you wanna hang with the cool kids, you need to be cool, and so far you haven't really shown that to be your strong suit.

Maybe you have a little thing for Mother Earth, but you're gonna need to dial it back. A lady doesn't appreciate you coming on all hot and heavy. Take a chill pill, and give it time buddy. I'm sure she'll come around in time.

Your new pal,

Finny De Floof

Wooly Wednesday

2011-07-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

Baa. Baa. That was my sheep impression.

Actually I'm told my floof is "Mink Like" and not really wooly. I guess I should have done Minky Monday, but it doesn't have the same ring.

Boy I must say that I am getting a little tired of the hots. It's also been humid here. I'm lucky that as a desert cat we are well cooled. I am sorry for my friends that are dealing weather that is so unexpected and miserable. Maybe I need to write another letter to Mr Sun or the Storm Family.

It's hard to determine who's at fault here. I hear Global Warming may be at the heart of all this trouble. I wonder how they prefer to be addressed? Mr or Ms Warming? Maybe something more casual and chummy, like Globe? I guess I'll nap on it.

Biscuits

2011-07-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

I know many of my feline friends enjoy making biscuits. For those of you not familiar with the term, you'll likely recognize the description.

A kitty is thought to be "making biscuits" when they knead soft dough with their front paws. Some kitties are advance biscuit makers and can also knead with the back paws too.

The dough? Well, any soft substance will do, blankets, etc. but the best dough is tender human flesh.

The more tender the better, less work to soften it up. Sometimes you knead the biscuit dough to make your future nap spot just the way you like it, pliable and soft, and sometimes you make biscuits when you're enjoying your pets (these are happy paw biscuits).

For me, no dough is better than the soft, ~~flabby~~, and tender flesh of the back of Mom's upper arm. As a kitten I loved when she would lay on her side and expose my favorite spot. I would push into the dough with my wet nose too. Nice.

I purr so loud that I don't even hear "Seriously cat, can you move those paws around? I'm numb in that spot." I like to concentrate on one perfectly tenderized spot.

I don't make biscuits as often as I used to, Mom is pretty tender, but I do have my moments. Sometimes I forget myself in the process and remember being a tiny kitten with Mother Tabby. It's a nice memory.

Anyone else love making biscuits?